The TV blares, my husband talks, the dog incessantly tries to jump on my lap where the computer already resides and my Leah won't let me out of her sight while she continues to battle out her ailment. The chaos once again tries to attack my nervous system and my heart is racing out of control. The anxiety is something I'm trying to learn to deal with as it is the reason I was taking 300mgs of Effexor XR and another nerve calming pill. I almost miss those 300mgs as I sit here as irritable as the ole Grouch himself and my heart feels like a galloping herd of horses. I shall not succumb to what Satan tells me is my only hope. Jesus has an answer to my suffering and I will wait for Him.
I began a new program today called, "The Road Back." The Road Back uses natural vitamins and herbs, along with journaling, to help those with high anxiety and depression and those stuck on anti-psychosis and nerve pills find their way to freedom. Aside from that program, prayer and Biblical meditation along with diet and exercise are extremely important. Not one part of the body works alone so the body must be treated as a whole. I took the body calm about a half an hour ago and noticed the pace of my heart beginning to slow. I did eat some chocolate ice cream today only to suffer from the side-effect of extreme anxiety and heart palpitations.
Otherwise, my life is going smoothly. At least my heart IS beating! I would be in trouble if the alternative were true!
God has given me clear instructions as to the running of HomeScholars. I thought for a while the program should come to a close. I am learning how important is to wait for a yes or a no in all situations. If we aren't hearing anything clearly from Him we must continue on the path He has called us. Of course if you are on a path not coinciding with the will of our Saviour then that road must come to an abrupt halt.
I'm thankful for my crazy, beautiful children and my amazingly patient and loving husband. I have some of the best friends I could ever imagine. I mean I have true, unconditional friendships that only Jesus himself could provide. I am amazed at that because I can be so moody, grouchy, selfish and rude! I love these ladies and wish all people could have the bond each of us share.
I look out and see the sky is peach with grayish blue clouds floating along. I find as I am writing I am becoming peaceful and the "stuff" going on around me isn't so overwhelming. The dog is STILL trying to get on my lap and I suddenly don't feel like catapulting him across the room!
My dear friend, who is staying with us, is yet again fixing supper. I pray for her as she strives to get her life and the lives of her children on the road to success. I pray they seek God first.
You see, my life is hard dealing with the anxiety issues. I've left my past behind, finally, and my present is at peace. Looking only at our own lives sometimes can be a stumbling block. Looking at the lives of those who diseases are out of control, loved ones have past, or their marriage falls apart allows me to be thankful for the blessings in this world of my own.
He is truth and truth is love. Trust in the truth and in the truth we find love. Peace abides in truth, He is the truth. Give in to truth and we shall have peace.
Amen.
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